From Halloween Horrors to Healing: How I Faced My Spider Phobia with Exposure Therapy

Oct 3

I love that Autumn has come - I love the leaves, the beverages, the temperature, and the feeling of excitement about the weeks and months to come. All of the ways I love this season have really started to hit me this week. This week, as Halloween decorations started popping up on my street, I found myself smiling at all the fake spider decorations around. It’s a quiet, personal celebration — not of fear, but of transformation.

Years ago, those same decorations would have sent me into a panic. I had a severe spider phobia as a child, teen, and young adult, and even the sight of a fake spider was enough to trigger intense anxiety. Today, I keep a five-inch plastic tarantula in my office year-round. Not because I need it for exposure anymore, but because it reminds me of how far I’ve come. It’s a little friend who reminds me of a past that was so limiting, and a present that is so free.

It wasn’t my big plastic spiders that changed everything. It was the small ones — the kind you scatter on fake webs or tuck into Halloween party favors. I used to hide them around my room: in shoes, under pillows, inside drawers. I knew I’d eventually stumble upon one and get that jolt of fear. My heart would race, my breath would catch — but over time, I got used to it. That jump in heart rate became familiar, manageable, even empowering.

Eventually, those little spiders stopped being scary. I started keeping them around not because I needed to, but because they made me happy. They became sentimental reminders of a time when I chose to face something that had controlled me for years. They represent pride, courage, and the moment I took control of my fear. They also connect me to the people I work with — people whose suffering is real, intense, and deeply deserving of support.

The Cost of Avoidance

Before I began exposure therapy, my fear of spiders shaped my life in countless ways. I avoided walking under trees or going into the woods. I was terrified of spiders getting stuck in my hair — and to be honest, with curls, that fear hasn’t completely gone away. I used to ask people to check my shoes for me every day if they were sitting in the garage. I missed out on experiences, adventures, and simple joys because I was constantly trying to stay safe from something that felt overwhelmingly dangerous.

One moment that stands out was when a tiny spider crawled up my arm. I brushed it away instinctively, but when I still felt a crawling sensation, I looked down, saw it, and started violently smacking myself all over to kill it — shrieking and sobbing in terror. It was a tiny spider, but the fear was massive. I can laugh at the intensity now, but in those moments, the terror was real and out of control.

Once, a family member was visiting and I noticed a spider on the wall behind her — about the size of a quarter. I panicked, screamed, and ran from the room, eventually climbing onto the washing machine in terror. She followed, confused, and calmly took care of the spider. For her, it was a minor inconvenience. For me, it felt like a crisis.

Another time, I was at a red light with a friend and spotted a big spider inside the car, tucked into the top left corner of the windshield. In what felt like a spiderman-level move, I put the car in park, took off my seatbelt, lowered my seat flat, rolled backward into the back seat, and climbed out the door on the other side. Looking back, I'm still a bit impressed with myself — my friend at the time, not so much.

The Moment Everything Changed

While volunteering at a mental health clinic as an undergrad, one of the doctors explained exposure therapy to me and said it could help me get rid of my spider phobia. I probably said something like, “That’s okay, sounds terrible, I’m fine as I am — no thanks.” I wasn’t ready.

About a year later, I was taking a therapy class where we practiced talking about something difficult so our classmates could help us work through it. I figured my fear of spiders would be no big deal to share. But as we went around the group and people asked me questions, I realized just how deeply this fear had affected me.

One person asked, “What would your life be like if you never got over that fear?” And I burst into tears.

I had just listed all the things I wouldn’t do, all the ways I wanted to be but couldn’t, and all the experiences I was saying no to. I felt so sad for taking that away from myself. That was the moment I decided it would be worth it to stop being afraid.

Starting Small: Gummy Spiders and Cartoons

I began my exposure journey with the gentlest steps I could manage. I started with gummy spiders (well, gummy octopuses — they had eight limbs and seemed close enough): silly, sweet, and completely harmless. Then I moved on to cute cartoon spiders, the kind you’d find in children’s books or animated movies. These early exposures helped me build confidence and reduce avoidance.

I think I was probably in the gummy spider phase around October of that year, because one day my friends and I came across some large plastic spiders in a store. I couldn’t even look at them, but I knew I’d need them eventually, so I asked my friends to buy them while I ran out of the store.

Today’s exposure therapists often call this kind of action “taking brave leaps” — doing something bold before you feel ready, because you trust in where it might lead.

When I started to find my happy-faced spiders more friendly than threatening, I graduated to more realistic drawings, then photos of real spiders, and finally to the fake plastic ones — shoved into the back of my closet for months. Each step was uncomfortable, but I took it slow, so it was always manageable. With each new step came confidence, pride, and ultimately, transformation.

Advanced Exposure: Imagining the Unthinkable

Today, when I need to refresh my nervous system’s tolerance, I use imaginal exposure — a technique where you vividly imagine the feared scenario. I lie in bed and picture spiders crawling all over my body, even inside my ears. It sounds unthinkable, but it’s no big deal anymore. My body still reacts — a spike in heart rate, a moment of discomfort — but I know how to ride it out. I’ve trained my nervous system to tolerate the sensations without spiraling into panic.

This kind of exposure would have been unimaginable in the past. But now, it’s just another tool in my toolkit — one I use not out of desperation, but out of confidence.

From Patient to Practitioner: Treating Phobias and OCD

Today, I’m a clinical psychologist specializing in exposure therapy for phobias and OCD. I help patients face their fears using the same principles that helped me reclaim my life. Whether it’s contamination fears, social anxiety, or specific phobias like spiders, the process is the same: start small, stay consistent, and trust that your brain can learn a new response.

Exposure therapy isn’t about forcing yourself to be fearless. It’s about building tolerance, reducing avoidance, and reclaiming control. It’s about learning that discomfort isn’t dangerous — and that you’re probably braver than you think.

Why Halloween Is the Perfect Time to Start

Halloween is a powerful time to begin exposure work. The season is filled with playful, low-stakes opportunities to face fears in a controlled way. Whether it’s fake spiders, skeletons, or eerie sounds, the decorations offer a natural starting point for exposure.

If you’re dealing with a fear — whether it’s spiders, germs, or something else — consider using the season to your advantage. Buy a small decoration that makes you uncomfortable. Keep it nearby. Look at it. Touch it. Let your body react and then let the reaction pass. You don’t have to do it all at once. Just start.

Tips for Starting Exposure Therapy on Your Own

If you're curious about trying exposure therapy, here are a few gentle ways to begin:

Make a fear ladder: List your fear from least to most intense. Start with the easiest item and work your way up.
Use props: Gummy spiders, cartoons, and fake decorations are great tools for early exposure.
Practice imaginal exposure: Close your eyes and vividly imagine the feared scenario. Stay with the discomfort until it fades.
Track your progress: Keep a journal of your reactions and improvements. Celebrate small wins.
Seek support: A therapist trained in exposure therapy can guide you through the process safely and effectively.

A Personal Invitation

If you’re struggling with a fear that feels bigger than you, know this: you don’t have to face it all at once. Start small. Be patient. And when you're ready, reach out. Healing is possible — even if it starts with a gummy spider.

At my practice, we specialize in helping people overcome phobias and OCD using evidence-based exposure techniques. Whether you're just beginning or looking to deepen your progress, we're here to support you.

Ready to take the first step?

Kathryn Burnett